Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Old Friends....

I got a message on facebook this morning from an old friend I haven't spoke to in a long time...I was just thinking to myself the other day damn "big Sis" don't even check up on me anymore, she must have found a man or moved away" she is always traveling....when I read the message, she expressed the samething I was thinking about her....she said I don't call her to check up on her and she don't feel I would be there for her the same way she was there for me...it really didn't bother me because I know I suck at calling people but I know who I love and care for even when I'm not heard from....I never said I was the best friend in the world, I'm not going to call every single person I love when I'm SURE they have more free time than I do...if I did something for another person based off LOVE & friendship I would never throw that back in your face....and how would you know I wouldn't be there for you if you never asked me...I'm man enough to ask advice from another woman on issues dealing with relationships and women, and if you need advice on men Im always here to help you... But I don't want anything in return...no matter what think or your opinion about me.... I love you like a sister, I don't care if we don't speak for years I'm always here for you.. Not because you were there for me but because it's my nature to be there if you need me... But don't take me not calling you as a sign of me "not caring about you" we all have problems.. Every single person I know is going through some type of issues... From the recession, relationship, children, baby mama drama, business, etc....I would never call anyone to spread more negative energy when I'm sure we all going through different struggles in our lives... Why add more problems to another persons world... Advice is different, venting out is different, but I never want my problems to be your problems....when I'm hurting I blog the pain, express it let it all out and I feel better...yes I'm distant these days because some days I feel even my friends don't even care... I'm sure they also feel I don't care... The cycle of bullshit...you knew me since 1994.... You kept me out of trouble, you listened to me... And helped me grow as a man, now I'm out the nest I'm 34 years old and your right, I don't call... I don't call anyone because what do I have to really say? Business is good but my personal life is messed up right now....then you will give me advice, I won't talk to you for another 9 months then you are pissed at me because I haven't called you... Why because my life is the same as the last time we spoke...I don't want to call my friend to talk about my art career or businss and I don't want to spread negative energy by telling you all the bad things happening in my life...but that don't mean I don't love you Sis...I figured you are ok because if you needed me i'm right there in the shop tattooing, you can drop by anytime and see me there working... I'm the easiest person in the world to find....but you get mad at me for not stopping my life to look for you and reach out... I'm not the one who disappeared I'm right here at City of Ink almost everyday....I'm still the wild kid you met in 94 but my soul is more calm, less advice is needed now.... But if you need ME I'm here for you always...I'm not always a "good" friend but I'm always there when I'm needed... If you feel I forgot you... Then step into my shoes and see how I feel when I don't hear for you either.... Let's break this cycle, it's not about who call who... It's about if you reach out will I be there for you.... And that answer is YES old friend

Posted from my iPhone


Lauryn B. said...

Awww this is a nice post. You're always so inspiring :-)

Y said...

Thank you Miya.. I am not mad.. I never was...
but I do think you could have told me this in private..
I came to you in peace not to attack..
Just because I told you how I felt does not mean that I threw it in your face.. Dont get attached to the message but the lesson.. sorry if you feel like that.

No judgement.. cause friends don't judge.. they just accept and grow with one another. Yes people are people.. we all are human.. we all go through rough times in life. NO it is not about a "call". Yeah we are all trying make it..

I don't reach out sometimes.. but let me tell you why.. The past 7 years have not been easy... I have lost my vision, my balance, my speech, my concentration, my train of thought.. I woke up throwing up for about a year.. sometimes I can't eat.. I can't sleep..
I have gotten through all of this and am better now.. but nothing is promised.. above all..
I AM HAPPY... and I am blessed to try and make the things that don't feel good to me feel better..
So forgive me if I did not reach out.. I have kinda... been fighting for my life.. lol

Thank you for "telling" me you are there if I need you.. I am still here if you need me too.. and since we both felt the same and did not know.. I am glad I took the first step.. I guess we should be good for about 20 more years.. lol


I am a very private person.. but since you release by blogging... I thought I would join you..

Y said...

ps... I never asked you to stop your life... lol NEVER!
Life does not stop why should we?
Funny how people see things.. but I understand.. I always do and I always will...

You know why I stopped coming to the shop.. I have told you this many times... Peace is my priority so if I don't get it where I go.. I don't go..

and btw.. I have stopped by quite a few times and you were not there... Ask Chris.. Samba..
in fact.. I sat there and waited a while.. even used your wifi...

but anyway.. I am cool with what I have expressed.. anything else can be discussed in private..
This has nothing to do with anyone else.. being a man or a woman.... being right or wrong... it is about being human and valuing life and friendship enough to be honest and re-connect with the people we care about and believe in.. It is about balance.. reciprocation.. honesty.. selflessness.. loyalty.. truth.. and growth..

Miya Baileub said...

Thank you "Y" I love you Sis now if you could email me your info again... I will take in touch more and that's my words....let me be there for you if you need ME... Your Lil brother, Miya Bailey miyasart@yahoo.com

The Reason said...

This post got me to thinking about one of my relationships. Although no two people are the same...I think he would express some of the same sentiments as you. The crazy part about it though is that I wouldn't be mad if I never talked to him again. I love him to death but as long as he's happy then I'm great. I don't think men understand what it is like to be a platonic female friend. Especially if that person has taken on a wife. Everything that the male friend use to discuss with the female friend they discuss with their gf/wife. Hmmmm...GREAT GREAT POST SIR

Y said...

facebook is cool..i get my messages there and they don't get caught up in the spam..

Y said...

Another ps... I never get in your personal business.. but.. I want to say this.. Make it your business to repair your home.. by any means necessary.. I am just a friend.. but there is a woman who vowed to love you no matter what and I think she has done a wonderful job at something that is nearly impossible.. Sometimes words are not enough.. Remember when you thought all of your so called friends disappeared.. she was right there.. You make things hard for yourself... A happy woman = a happy home.. a happy home = a happier world.. just my 2 cents..