Monday, July 20, 2009

Surrounded by people and still LONELY.....



Everyday I hear how blessed I am to be living my dreams...and I am very thankful to the people who supported and helped me get here in my life....from tattooing in the projects to opening one of the most popular tattoo shops in the world "City of Ink". With this lifestyle, me and my brothers have inspired many different scenes and movement in Atlanta and all over the country...I'm surrounded by positive and negative people...mostly positive and I'm thankful to have them all in my life...I'm surrounded by people almost 24 hours a day...when I'm not at City of Ink, I'm at home with my wife and son....its not easy not having a chance to be alone in peace to create paintings and drawings...or to just be plain ole "Miya" and not "Miya Bailey the tattoo artist" I have many different sides but I can only reflect 3 of them...Miya the family man, Miya the tattoo artist, and Miya the business man...so what about "MIYA THE ARTIST/PAINTER"?? when can I be that Miya? Or how bout "Miya the lover"? or "Miya the visionary"?..right now I'm just daddy, husband, business man, and tattoo artist....and with all of them I have RULES to follow and people to answer to...A lot of people ask me "Why do you still walk around? We all you know you have money." and my answer is...I don't follow TIME, and I'm never in a rush to be around other people...I WALK because I know people won't follow me around and I can be ALONE to think about my life, art, and other business moves...maybe I'm weird because I know people who tell me they are lonely all the time..but I'm lonely and I'm surrounded by tons of people everyday of my life....its even worse when no one understands your vision but you....I know I drive my wife crazy..I'm an artist, I was just born to do art period...but I have to play a role because other people depend on me...I personally feel only an artist can understand the mind of another artist (gift and curse)....to see every word as a picture in your mind, every thought is crystal clear like a movie, to daydream art, to go to sleep and dream about art...to feed your family using art...I don't know must about sports, I care less about fancy cars, I never learned how to cook, I got a GED, but I do know how to work hard, make money, employees people and open businesses and do art...I'm not the best father or the best husband..I still learning all those things...but I try and sometimes trying isn't good enough when you have tunnel vision and want to express you heart and SOUL using art but your a slave to your career and you can't find peace anywhere including home....I'm human I get lonely even when I'm in a room of people..I get sad as times because I can't PAINT when I'm inspired...I get sad when I want to talk to my wife about comic books, movies and art but she can't relate...people talking to me but I have visions of artwork that I have never had a chance to let out of my mind....I'm in a lonely place...but I'm blessed at the sametime...where is happiness? and how can I make the people happy around me without being distant? My life is an open book...all my mistakes and my dreams are ALL for the love for ART....no matter how much I try to put other things in front of my desires to paint and express my soul...I know art will also make me a lonely man.....will I lose my family for the love of art and peace of mind? Can my love ones ever understand me and this passion I have inside? who knows...all I know is I feel lonely...and distant..and I hope one day people will understand me..and my life wasn't in vain....

11 comments:

Aquiera said...

This was deep. I believe, to love someone is to accept them for who they are. The relationships are of utmost value are those that have trials and tribulations. Popularity has granted you less free time but you still know your visions. If you truly desire to execute these visions you will and the people that care for you will be happy and stand bye your side! Loneliness will have to change within you. Every thing is possible with a vision and a dream. :-)

Intiasar F. Kyng said...

...that's the life of an artist Miya. I'm an only child, so in my mind, I was born a loner. I'm an artist, which means that my view of life as we know it will always come from a different angle (perspective). I will add color, creavity and compassion to every situation. The things that seem complicated in the world, seem simple to me; and the things that should seem simple, to me...are complicated. I am a mother, and taking care of my son, is easy, as far as routines go...but the line that separates art and motherhood is a very thin one. I'm not a rebellious person (anymore, lol), but I am unconventional and I do push the envelope. The rules that apply to the status quo...I break on purpose occasionally (just to shake things up, lol). My son will be unconventional and he will have the ability to see things just as they are, and hopefully for more than what they are. That is the mind and the life of an artist. I understand why Mozart cut his damn ear off.

Rhythm said...

@ aquiera, accepting someone for who they are doesn't mean you understand them. my partner accepts me in that he doesn't try to change me, but at the core, he doesn't understand the artist in me. he simply understands that i am an artist, and that most of the things he doesn't get about me come from that being.

i choose to find that kinship and understanding from other like minds and souls. miya, i hope you find that peace and belonging.

sheba_queen2003 said...

Miya, well you know I got nothing but love for you and your family be-it COI, or Wife and Kids...I absolutly adore your honesty, unfortunately recognition of what you do has put you as an Artist out there on many levels. That can be a good thing and or a bad thing. However you handle all things related to COI and your personal life as best as you know how. I once heard Oprah say about 8 years ago "when I know better I will do better". Take that and make it your own, we all make mistakes whether they affect our personal and or business life on a daily basis. You have something inside of you that is a gift from God and only you know in your heart how bad you would like to act on it, we as individuals who adore your work just know that; damn, I want a tatt from Miya, or there is Miya from COI etc.....That painter that is inside of you, who you love will have his time. Miya the husband and the father which I know you to be has always spoke great things when it comes to wife and kids. Now can you always be 100% available to wear all of these hats, thats the real struggle. I thank you for the work that you have placed on me so-far, we are not finish....lol. You have placed art all over the world, can you believe that? Thats a beautiful thing. Thats equivilent to an artist hearing his song over the radio everywhere he goes the joy never dies. Keep painting, drawing, tatting, writing and being a beautiful father also husband, it will all work itself out in the end, I know I will remember you for trying to be all things great not only for COI, but family first.Love sheba!!

akalade29 said...

Wow, Miya. This post really touched me because I feel the same way sometimes. It is frustrating to be with someone who can't relate to you on certain levels, but love is patient it changes. I think that in order to make the people in your life happy you have to be happy yourself. We give the best of ourselves when we are truly satisfied. Keep being you and growing and learning to be Miya, wholeheartedly and everything else will fall into place.

Brittney Greene said...

Thanks for letting us into that brilliant mind of yours and after reading that I feel inspired and a little closer to the man Miya Bailey, thanks for being so open and honest.

Alicia said...

Surrounded by people but still feel lonely epitomizes how I feel. I feel the most comfortable at school around people who do what I do, who want to talk about what I want to talk about, but the reality is I can't stay there forever. Sometimes when your friends and family can't understand or relate with you because you are an artist is the best and worst time. Best time because through art you express yourself whether it be loneliness or something else. The worst because that feeling of being alone is not a pretty one, especially when you're not alone, people are around. I don't know the solution, I thought I had the answer sometime ago, but I'm staying tune, because your blog is helping me I don't even think you know it.

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