Posted from my iPhone
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Time to Heal...
All my dreams are coming true... But my personal life sucks right now...the blessings of doing what you love vs making other happy.... It seems like I have been doing everything to make other people happy except myself ....The closer I get to my goal the more distance grows between me and the people I love the most....my views on life are changing the more I grow and some people don't seem to grow at all....Sunday I just want to ecsape the world.... Some of COI went to check out the tattoo convention...I was hanging out with Prophet & Rabbit trying to figure out my personal life out....my leak of social life, fake friends, people using my kindness but when they are needed no one is around....trying to be an artist and evolve then your clients won't let you grow by telling you the same ideas I heard when I was 19 years old...I'm just want peace of mind.... And do beautiful artwork that will live wayyyy longer than I do...I don't like to be the cause of other people unhappiness so I distance myself from people... But when the night comes and all my friends are out enjoying life....it's just me, Rabbit, paint brushes & pencils....I found a new place to go to think & reflect in Castleberry hill away from the groupies and wanna be friends.... I took Prophet there for the first time sunday... I hope he wasn't too bored.... I remember when my dad would pick me up to hang out... It was a big deal to me just being around him studying his every move... Wanting to be just like him... He was cool to me and I was always excited to see him even when it was just overnight or a few hours.... I had to share this private spot with Prophet....to reflect, to think, to heal....
Posted from my iPhone
Posted from my iPhone
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14 comments:
this is what i love the most about your blog you bare so much of what you feel. its honest and real almost vulnerable. in a world full of people faking their feelings and men who hide there true ones this is refreshing. thank you miya
I honestly know how you feel it hurts when people don't realize that eventually you have to grow and sometimes it not going to be to every bodies liking but, sometimes you have to do whats best for you and they are really your true friends and as supportive they would understand that. The time has come where you cant hold on to dead weight anymore especially if it is not uplifting and the sad reality is you are making yourself happy and once you get on top ..... they will be back in your face again and not cause you asked them to,SO! with that being said don't fret just breathe take time for yourself and be ready take on anything new that god throws at you aka be blessed!
Great post. Some people may think it's a sad one, but I don't see it that way. Once you reach a certain level of success and continue on that path .. pain is sure to come with it. That's the fuel artists use to beat harder and think deeper, create more.
Sometimes people don't change. 90% of the time probably. That's when you're able to clearly get rid of the cluttering weeds and make room for thicker roots. Those that truly Love you & support you will grow with you. Those thank can't get left behind.
I'm sure your son Loved being there with you and I hope it brings you clarity in the future.
- Peace
I feel you brother, sometimes you gotta fall back to move forward...i did it...yep times are trying, in our garden the weeds have to be pulled, the hedges have to be pruned in order for the flowers to grow. Continue to Evolve but don't ever lose sight of what's real, cause some of the REAL friends and family that you have understand and know about true change and transition......we embrace it and support you even when you're down and feel like you gotta disconnect
ginyard
I'm sure he appreciated it...a kid like him knows he has an awesome dad, no matter how different you might be from other parents :)
The sacrifices will make in life 99% of the time never go noticed or appreciated. Especially when you are around a bunch of "niggas". When u do so much for others it takes that self time to recharge urself. For me I like to hit the streets abd just walk. When I walk my mind gets clear and I just have my talks with God. But even though I consider it my self time, I'm ALWAYS approached by someone that I end up being able to bless or they bless me.
Feel where yuh coming from on this blog brother...I've been feeling the same way as of late...I think I should find a new spot to chill and clear my mind as you, your son and, rabbit did... Respect
It will get better, have faith, everyone doesn't grow at the same pace. While everyone else is out partying and enjoying their social lives, you are on your grind. You will reach all of your goals and your name will live forever. I'm sure that your son enjoyed his quality time with you and knowing that you work so much, he probably cherishes every moment he gets to spent with you just like you did with your Dad. He's just at that age when he needs his Dad around the most to guide him, so you continue to take him to that private hideout and it will eventually become his favorite place to getaway to think also. Blessings to you and your family.
That time you share with your son has a significance that goes beyond "boredom." I mean even if a young mind doesn't appreciate it (which I'm sure is not the case), a mature mind will. There is so much missing now in my relationship with my dad that I have no choice but to think back on those moments like what you're sharing with Prophet. They shine brighter in my adult mind than they did when I was a kid. They keep me assured of his love when his older self doesn't seem to know how to mesh with my older self, the grown up daughter. You are giving so much to your son right now in those private moments that I don't think you should ever second-guess whether he values it. He WILL value it, rather now or later. Our brains know how to compartmentalize and store love even when our Id is telling us to want something else. Our brains know we will need those memories to sustain us later in moments of solitude and doubt.
Those are some gorgeous pictures.
Be Blessed!
-J.
Miya, I appreacite you sharing more than you will ever know. I know we are acquaintances and all that but I love your heart. I use to love hanging around from time to time for your creative energy. Be good to yourself FIRST. IF you are not then you are no good to anyone else. Believe that. Sometimes you have to let your PIECE be still and listen.
I am sure that prophet appreciate that quality time with Dad. He may not understand it now but he will. I know sometimes I sit back and wish for those moments with my dad.
As I have said before, you are loved even if it is from afar but its love nonetheless.
Miya, I read your blog regularly. you have your priorities straight bro. don't ever let anyone make you doubt yourself. i know that we all have those days, but CONTINUE to fight through them. you've done well man. continue to build on that foundation for your children and childrens children, and continue to be an insperation. NEBLOS....
ALL these comments mean ALOT to me thank you ALL for your positive words..it means alot to me...many blessings and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU...these comments were the fuel I needed
I think its important to get away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. We got so caught up in trying to do for others, that we forget to take care of ourselves. My uncle was a work-a-holic, but every other weekend he'd pick me up and we'd go fishing. . . I remember those fishing trips to this day, they were therapy for both of us. . . Some of the most memorable and invaluable things in life are those that are free, but come with the most expensive sacrifice. . . TIME
Sooooo Im up at 6:03 am because I cant sleep due to alot of "ish" on the brain... Figured Id come to your page and read the blogs... I came across this one and felt like you were "speaking for me" I feel so strongly about the words you just laid out for us. -- You speak the truth and sometimes just give us affirmation for certain situations in our own lives..- Thanks Cris
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