Friday, July 2, 2010

Leaving....

Sitting on the plane... I had one of those moments...day dreaming of peace... Seeing my boys following their dreams...my kids doing their thang in school... My wife finding inner peace in her soul and be happy again with or without me in her life....my film project, my book... Which is almost finished.... My nephews and how I wish I could be closer to them to let them know their uncle is also working hard for them too... The direction my paintings are going in these days and when I will have another Miya Dreamland art show....in the air I think about all my people back in the projects I wish I could help... And my mother still having to work everyday when I feel she deserves to travel and see the world with me....the more success I reach the lonely my life seems....I suppose to be happy and I am happy but I still can feel
Saddness creeping up on me....the closer I get to my dreams... the farther I feel I grow from my love ones...no matter where I go, I still don't feel my family & friends understand my mission in life.... It's not about money and frame.. It's about creating jobs and helping people who deserve help....how can a mind grow if they never seen the world? How can you step out the box when your trapped and locked inside the box? I try to focus only on the positive but when you have to hear negative stuff everything and your the source of the positive energy most of the time it will get to you.... Looking out the window of the plane... I seen the sun... It felt like God was just telling me to "stay focused, they won't understand your every move but at the end of the day they will be thankful for the gift you will give them all in the future." I don't want to be a leader but it seems like I'm forced to be one... No one else is stepping up for the job... And why do I have these feelings to help my people when most of the time it don't even pay off? I guess it my nature to express, to teach other never to hold back... How not to focus on the flaws of others but to feed them with positive feedback to inspire them to move foward in their dreams...this isn't saddness but a God given instinct to do what i'm programmed to do... Open the doors for others... And spark something in their minds so they can see the world different... One person at a time if needed...





Posted from my iPhone

7 comments:

cptheartist said...

REAL TALK. Its very difficult chasing after your dreams. People dont understand its 24/7 366. I've always said,"Love me now, or I would know you later on".

Atleast you're staying focused. because I had guilty feelings that maybe I doing something wrong.
Until I was in Church and the pastor talked about people in the Bible, were GOD said "This is what I called, you to do".

I wrote about it in my blog: CP wept

Anonymous said...

aww, stay focused. Your mother, wife, children, nephews, and friends will soon understand what all of your hard work is for if they don't already. By the way Rabbit is sooo cute, damn, your whole family is beautiful from Rabbit, your handsome son, to your gorgeous wife(I LOVE HER HAIR!) you are truly blessed.

N-Doe said...

I believe that we as humans are on this earth for a purpose as apart of God's plan. We were created to interact & b social wit 1 anotha...helping one anotha. I believe that you r doing what u were created to do. Unlike others u r taping n2 that special gift that's embedded inside of u, using it 2 inspire others.
If we all tapped n2 our one of a kind gifts & used it to inspire others...the world would b so much betta. If we were ALL selfless as yourself, the world would b much betta.
Stay strong, focused & INSPIRED b/c u r definitely inspiring others...

Mreeuh said...

The only purpose for having freedom is to give it to someone else…you are building something beautiful, who cares if they understand?

y.f. dubble said...

i totally relate to this.

Anonymous said...

no one has to understand your way of doing things as long as you don't hurt anyone along the way and the end result is something positive.

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