Posted from my iPhone
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Lost Friends....
I'm sitting on the plane..heading to DC for another business trip...thinking about how this year has changed so much and it's only April.... I lost a few friends this year... Mostly because I'm tryin to change my lifestyle, focus on bettering the lives of my family members, distance myself from unwanted drama and negative energy....I'm usally labeled "selfish" because when I don't like something or feel uncomfortable about something I get away from it....maybe that is selfish... But I'm human, I have flaws... I'm not wise on all my decisions but I do follow my instinct and it has kept me alive and out of drama for a few years now.. This change of mindstate has helped me attract some really good people in my life and it has also painfully made me distance myself from people I love dearly based on their surroundings and actions... My life hasn't been easy, and change isn't easy ... So I try not relaspe in bad habits.... I was back home in the projects and I know at this point of my life I can now visit my old hoods and stay out of the hood beefs.... It do hurt to see my friends beefing with each other... So I distance myself from them to run away from the pain of "disappointment" ...back in Atlanta, I had to distance myself from friends for getting caught up in this fake "Hollywood" bullshit...losing their souls to be liked by people they don't even need in their life to better their growth....I don't know it all so I never give advice on a matter I haven't lived through before... If I have made a mistake I try to help those around me not make the same mistakes....if you do ask me for my words of advice... turn around and don't trust me judgement and make the mistake anyway.. It's simple don't come to me after it's over like I suppose to stop my life and wipe your tears when I warned you in the first place.. Friendship should be based on good company, positve energy, and helping each other grow.... If you don't want to change then I have a choice not to be around you anymore... I'm working on trying to be a better man myself... And I'm a father of three...if something isn't right.... I warn you and you don't trust my judgement then I'm not really needed in your life... I guess I am selfish....I do have tunnel vision... Maybe the books "The Secret" & "48 Laws of Power" has changed how I view my life and the people I want to share personal time with....or maybe I'm just growing older and understand the value of "TIME" more....I can't tell others how to live their lives so I hope they will learn by my own actions....losing friends is very painful but who said rebirth wouldn't hurt?
Posted from my iPhone
Posted from my iPhone
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12 comments:
true friends can be themselves without burdening one another with their individual personalities...
I go through the same thing with people and they think I'm judging them but I'm not. I have to do what's best for me FIRST and if people want to take that personal, then we can't be friends. I will tolerate just about anything as long as it isn't directly affecting me; once it does, we can discuss it and move on. If it isn't up for discussion then I can't consider you a friend. We don't have to agree on everything but we must be able to communicate when our differences separate us...it's all a part of my evolution as a human being :)
Man me and my best friend were just talking about this yesterday. He has 5 kids and I have 2, and our oldest are both 16. So what do we look like out there in the hood acting a damn fool! Yet, I see parents, many older than me, getting involved with their kids drama, and beefing with someone bc another person doesn't like someone. That's childish.
Personally I don't think you're selfish. It's simply called growing the hell up. And sadly not everyone wants to grow up. Like I told my best friend, if I don't like someone the easiest thing in the world for me to do is stay away from them, and vice versa. That's easier to do than beefing. *shrugs*
Stay up MB. Peace!
dope post,miya. as we get older, we realize who we should keep in our lives and who needs to go. being that you came out the projects back home, you as an adult know that the "street life" is not the lifestyle that you want to live anymore, nor do you have to. you are a talented artist and businessman with a beautiful wife and children to think about now. you are a grown man, not a teenager or in your early twenties. people who haven't grown in their lives will always try to pull you back to your old ways which will never result in anything good. the best thing that you can do for your hometown is to stay humble and keep making them proud. you can't keep telling grown ups certain things and if they aren't inspired by your story to do better, then they don't want to.
as for the atlanta folks..., you are right, it has turned into some fake hollywood bullshit. everyone wants to be in the lime light. there's nothing wrong with reaching for the stars but all of the other stuff that comes with it is crazy. you must realize that you are in the lime light and it's is based on pure talent and your ability to connect with people. the down side to that is that people see you in magazines, on tv, and doing big things and want to hang around with ulterior motives, especially the females. Most of them are not your friends. but i think you are smart enough to know that. there are alot of groupie women in atlanta, so if they are hanging around, something is bound to go down, feelings involved and what not.we all know that like you have stated before, unless a man has grown up with a female, 9 times out of 10, eventually, sex or the thought of it comes in the picture and people don't have sex with their real friends, so be careful, they are lurking. if they have not met your wife personally or been to your home, they are not your friend. they all know that you are married, but don't care, that's not a friend. the dudes just hang around with their hand out and talk shit just as much as females, if they are not trying to do anything with their lives. i have been at the tattoo shop and sat back and seen alot of things first hand from the outside looking in with males and females that you do not need around you, so i said all of this to say, just be careful of who you let around you and spend time with because most of it isn't genuine. i wish you continued success with your business and family.
Excellent post...
It is so hard to distance yourself away from people that have been a part of your life for so long but when you realize that at the end of the day you have to pick between your happiness and a friend that does nothing for you but bring you drama or worries...Then you have to choose yourself at the end of the day.
Peace, Miya!
Some people never do self evaluations. Some people never look at themselves and say "You messin up and you need to do things differently." What's sad is people claim to be grown but are doing some of the same things they were doing 10 years ago. You are always going to make mistakes, they are learning experiences. Maturation happens when you take those mistakes, figure out what you did wrong and grow from them.
hey sometimes it is like shedding away dead skin...just like the dead skin once was a viable part of you and your existence and then it became heavy and uneeded, a positive renewal of life had to take place...it's the life and death cycle of relationships, if a detachment had to happen, then it has to happen no matter what. It is the natural life span of the friendship......everything has a beginning and an ENDING
just stay true to you and shed with a free mindstate and conciousness....
i wish you well in all that you do..your brother for life Demayne
This post reminds me of what my preacher says to us often. "Being a Christian isnt easy." The summation of that to me means, that although you try to walk the walk and talk the talk of a Christian, doing the right thing always brings the Serpents out. Be leary, be cautious, but be humble, and search for the discernment to be able to determine the serpents in your life and the angels. Both walk this earth with us, but until you have a closer relationship with your God, you can't decipher the two. Your number one fan... Mitra
I hear what everyone is saying. But some people are a blessing, and some people/friends/ lovers are NOT just disposable. If you were a true friend to them, then BE that. How can u just throw away something or someone that is rare just because of a decision in their growth that may not been as wise as u claim to be? Is that a real friend? How are u not passing judgement? But as stated before real friendships never end.Cause its higher than u and whomever else to control.
im diggin this post. very real and true. the way i cee it is that we all have to evolve and sometimes that means that we have to move away from people and sometimes people will move away from you for whatever reason. like i have been told and have learned over and over is that getting old is inevitable but growth is optional. some people dont grow and its a shame cause we have to constantly be moving onward and upward. the best thing that we can do is better ourselves and to try and help those around you. you said it in your post what friendship should be about. i do believe that people should change to better themselves and the people around them. some people like to stay stagnant/hold others back so there is a time where you have to be selfish to a degree. keep grindin my brother. Peace
I feel the same way. Selfish? Not by far. Only You know whats best for YOU.
I want to thank everyone for their point of view...those who know me know what my goals are in life...I'm not trying to change anyone...I just learn from my mistakes and don't want others to have to learn it the hard...thats just me...and I KNOW that some people have to learn from their mistakes...but I don't have to sit back and watch them do it...real friends wouldn't even cause extra stress to a friends life...it suppose to bring happiness...I'm thankful for all my friends but an adult sometimes you have to let them go and be adults on their own....I can't hold your hand for life..and I can't give you advice everytime...the only advice I can give you is from my own mistakes...and when I see you messing up I will express it to you because I care...friends listen and learn from each other....its not always about giving and taking...but 2 minds bonding and coming together for a common goal...whatever your goal is....if I said tomorrow I don't want to be around negative enegry or I have made that mistake before and I don't want you to make the same mistake because I care..and you still do it and come to me to talk in the aftermath...then I feel you abused my friendship...you knew I didn't want to be brought into that negative world...but you still trying to make me relaspe and enter that world anyway...thats not cool to me....if I'm not the streets then don't bring the streets to my world...if I'm not with that fake Hollywood shit..then don't bring that hollywood shit to me...I'm a simple man...I just want to see the people in my life happy and with money in their pockets to help there families...I want to see everyones career grow with no limits...I want to see my boys give the streets and REALLY live life..and see the world drama free....maybe I'm a dreamer...but these dreams, keep me going....I have to feel like my hard work is paying off for something...I want the best for the Bailey Family as a whole (from my wife to my mother)and I want all my friends alive to see happiness outside the hood...and I want to see my friends reach the TOP in their career without rumors and drama that will bring your love ones into a world they don't even want to be apart of...
Miya, you should DO YOU and the Bailey family. Seems like people want you to hold their hand and walk them through things as an adult. A friend would never expect for you to do that if they are a REAL FRIEND. Anyone is disposable if it means that you lose friendships because you grow apart, then so be it. It happens all the time. I'm sure the same people that you went to grade school with and called your "best friend" are not as close to you if you even talk at all. You have grade school friends, middle school friends, high school friends, college friends, work friends, etc. But everyone are not always on the same direction in life. Never let ANYONE, OLD OR NEW FRIEND try to make you feel bad for learning from your mistakes, growing and keeping it moving. You can control whom you wish to still be around and be associated with. You will be, matter of fact you are someone GREAT and people see that, but not everyone can keep up...
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